spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
