I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
