stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
