They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
