two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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