I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She is in my trunk
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
