I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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