were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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