this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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