I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
