finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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