so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
