When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
