What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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