I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
