So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
