is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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