you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
