foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
