kristin has been a bad kristin
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
