PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I see more hoeing in ur future
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