think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
