I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
