Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
