Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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