it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
