3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
