he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
