New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
