using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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