I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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