She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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