Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
