Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
