it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
