Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
