Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
