Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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