...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
