it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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