Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
