Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Say something about gay babies.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Someone shattered a urinal.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
