Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
