So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
