She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
