Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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