I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
