also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They took my balls.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
