Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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