Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
