Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
