smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
