It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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