i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You were trust falling into bushes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
