Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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